“You’re too good for him.”
Thanks, but that doesn’t make me happy. It makes me feel worse. It makes me wonder what’s wrong with me and why I still love someone who’s not deserving and why my taste in men sucks.
And, as already mentioned, love is not about deserve. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:7).
And sometimes I wonder if I’m one of those “too good for this sinful world” types. Thing is, I don’t want to be one of those types because those types always wind up miserable and dead. I don’t want to be Saint Irene, I don’t want to be a martyr– I want to live and love and be happy. But this “deserve” thing just makes me wonder if there is anyone out there who is “worthy” or if I’m going to be alone forever while other (apparently less worthy) people get to fall in love and get married and be happy.
I once heard this thing about how valuable girls are like the best apples grown on the top of the tree where they are made yummy and ripe by the sun or something like that and most boys are too lazy to climb the tree to reach her and so they pick the ones closer to the ground. It’s supposed to make you feel better about being single because hey, you’re a yummy, nutritious, sunkissed apple, but girls and apples really aren’t comparable. See, when apples aren’t picked, they fall off the tree and rot. And when apples are picked, they get eaten. If the apples aren’t used for eating, they’re considered wasted. And I’m sick of boys always being the “pickers” in these stories and girls always filling the role of “inanimate object”. So I find this analogy rather sexist and depressing.
And whenever people say “he doesn’t deserve you”, they always suggest I go out with men I have no romantic interest in just because they’re nice guys and I’m just really sick of it because if I’m going to spending the rest of my life with this person and having sex with him, I’d better be attracted to him and going out with someone just because they seem nice is setting the bar pretty low. I mean, if I choose my life partner based solely on whether or not they’re “nice”, I’ll be married to pretty much everyone I know(#necessarynotsufficient).
And I get going out on a date isn’t the same as committing to marriage, but I just don’t see why I should act like I’m romantically interested in him when I’m not. It doesn’t seem fair to either of us. I mean, if he wants to keep hanging out knowing I’m still in love with my ex half of the time, on his own head be it, but to act like there isn’t still anything between me and my ex and to act like I’m more gung-ho to be this new date’s girlfriend than I actually am… Because I recognize that I’m dealing with another human being here, someone with thoughts and feelings who is capable of being hurt by my poor decisions, I don’t feel right about that.
“Well you can’t be expected to be interested in him after only a couple conversations!” Really? Guys get interested enough in girls to ask them out after one conversation but if I expect to be attracted to him right away, like, around the time I have to answer yay or nay to a date, I’m expecting too much? You don’t think that’s a double standard at all?
Ugh.
The Intersection of Everything 