Hello 2018!

Hi everyone! Happy New Year! We’ve survived 2017! Astonishing!

January 3rd marked one year since I started this blog. Some bloggers like to recap on the year but, no, not me. You’ve probably noticed this has been a rather depressing year for me, so reflecting on it is pretty much the last thing I want to do. I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier to see a year end.

Instead, I want to talk about something that makes me happy: my holiday and my plans for 2018.

Sometimes, Christmastime can be really stressful. There’s end-of-semester projects and exams, extra work events, deadlines for things like submitting health care claims, hosting family gatherings, and financial strain of getting gifts for everyone. Christmas is usually even more stressful for me because, well, I’m rather ambivalent about Christmas, which probably sounds really weird coming from a Christian, but it’s caused a lot of family conflict the past few Christmases. But this Christmas there wasn’t any drama around that (probably because I just kept my mouth shut on the subject).

On the 23rd, I called two of my grandmas (coming from a split family, I have three sets of grandparents), both of whom I hadn’t talked to in eight or nine years due to the Divorce From Hell. I’d been meaning to call them for months, but life got in the way and I wanted something to say besides, “Hey, I’m super depressed” so I hadn’t gotten around to it. So I wished them both Merry Christmas and chatted with each of them for a few minutes and will be talking more with them in the future. (They both said “You sound really good”, which means my acting is certainly up to par since I was kinda miserable at the time.)

So I feel this weight lifted off of me because I was rather anxious about calling them and about what I would even say to them after all this time but I knew I needed to talk to them and that I didn’t want them to pass away without me making things right with them (I already went through this with one grandparent).

The best thing about this holiday, though, was that I actually had plans. Instead of sitting at home trying to entertain myself and feeling lonely, I was actually out with people for most of the holiday, which was very good for me.

Mom’s Boyfriend invited us to go with him and his daughter to have Christmas Eve dinner with their best friends’ family. I’d never met them before, but I wasn’t nervous because a) antidepressants and b) they’re just the kind of people who know how to make others feel comfortable. After dinner, I wound up talking education and artificial intelligence with the dad for a while. The mom said to holler if I needed rescuing; obviously, she didn’t know that conversations about education and artificial intelligence are right up my alley. Then we played card games for several hours then listened to Christmas music.

It’s the first time in years that Mom and I’ve actually had an event to go to on Christmas Eve. Her side on the family used to have family gatherings with all the aunts and uncles and cousins, but the family’s grown so big and so busy that those stopped.

Christmas Day my mom and I unwrapped gifts. We decided that she would give me a budget for gifts and that I would just buy my own presents and she would reimburse me for it. I rather like this new system because I get only things I really, really want. Bizarrely enough, the things that I picked for myself are things I would’ve been bored by when I was a kid- pajamas, slippers and fuzzy socks.

And yes, they are super cozy.

That evening, Mom’s Boyfriend and his daughter (henceforth known as “Pseudostepsister”) came out for dinner and presents. He must know food is the way to my heart because I got an awful lot of restaurant gift cards and chocolates. We also played board games, which I won every round of. Even the cat came out to say hello to our guests, which is unusual because people scare her. We think she likes Pseudostepsister because she’s similar in personality to me. And after much fiddling around with the phone camera, we took our first picture together as a family.

 

Boxing Day we had yet another Christmas dinner, this time with my siblings. The younger of my two brothers and his wife never responded to our invited or showed up and my brother-in-law had to work, but my sister and her son came and we sent leftovers for her hubby and my oldest brother came with his wife and three kids.

So we had six adults and four kids under the age of six. Very busy. And all four of those kids decided to jump on my bed so I was rather frazzled trying to make sure no one fell off. My youngest nephew kept throwing himself onto my pillows and laughing but eventually wound up bonking his head on the wall doing that. He cried for a minute then went right back to what he was doing like nothing happened.

They also like to see and pet the kitty. I have to supervise to make sure they’re being gentle with her and now my youngest niece is allergic to cats, which is a shame because she loves cats and is always asking about “the kitty”. After a while, Cat decided she’d had enough and booked it out of there and hid out in my mom’s room.

Mom kept trying to get a picture of my youngest nephew walking around with all my stuffie cats in his arms, but didn’t really succeed because he’s always moving so everything’s a blur.

My nephews, especially the older one, also took a particular interest in my piano. Since they’re not even two yet, they can’t do anything besides turn it on and off and randomly hit keys, but it warms my heart seeing them so interested in something I love.

My oldest nephew also loves to play with ping-pong balls, but he discovered the giant exercise ball my mom has and was rather tearful when we pulled him away from it to open presents.

We had stockings for all the adults and wrapped a present for each of the kids. We got the girls these magnetic Etch-a-Sketch-type pads because they’re at the age where they do a lot of drawing now. They started playing with them right away and I got to see, for the first time, my oldest niece write her own name.

The two boys each got an animal backpack and a reusable snack bag along with some new socks. Turns out that putting on new socks is one of my oldest nephew’s favourite things.

I also finally gave my brother and sister copies of my grad photos from 2013. They were pretty happy about it and my sister showed her son right away and asked him “Do you know who that is?” His response: “Zelda”. He thinks I’m Princess Zelda.

The most exciting part of the evening was when I heard my sister-in-law whispering in her youngest daughter’s ear and my niece said “We’re having a baby!” Apparently she’d already let the cat out of the bag at dinner but since she’s still learning to talk we don’t always understand what she’s saying. So my brother and sister-in-law are having baby number four, due early next summer!

After Christmas was my birthday. My best friend invited me and another of my friends out to her place so I spent from the day after Boxing Day to New Year’s Day out at her place. They made it their personal mission to get me caught up on Marvel movies, so a lot of our time was spent doing that.

Probably the coolest thing was getting a call from my one grandma late on my birthday because, well, remember me mentioning my one brother and his wife didn’t come to the family Christmas dinner? They had a baby! On my birthday! I got a NEPHEW for my birthday! Isn’t that the coolest thing ever?!

(Well, it’s a little awkward since they never told me that she was pregnant, but whatever. They’ve been wanting a baby for ages so I’m thrilled.)

Best Friend’s mom is also a photographer and was wanting to expand her skills and portfolio, so we did a photo shoot with her. Sounds glamourous? Well, it’s not. The way we had the hold the poses actually made us a bit sore. It is, however, great fun. Vast majority of it was goofing off and going “I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair! I whip my hair!” We also exaggerated the poses she had us do and we were pouting and going “Drop the shoulder! Da booty out!” I’m as excited to see the bloopers as I am the finished product because I’m sure those bloopers will be glorious.

We also went out to this local shop that has the best hot chocolate ever.

I splurged.

Later, Best Friend had her brother- and sister-in-law out too, so it got very chaotic because they’re loud and rambunctious. Lots of yelling and roughhousing. So when they wanted a snowball fight, I bowed out to avoid getting a facewash. But I did join them when they invited me to work out. I lasted about two minutes and paid for it for the next three days. See, they’re all body builders and their workouts are kind of intense. But they let me play with their gymnastic rings.

 

Best Friend’s husband also let me try out his cello. I’ve always wanted to play a cello and wanted to try out some melodies for some music I was writing to see if I’d want a cello in it.

Best Friend also has this divine grand piano. It has the most gorgeous tone. I could sit my ass down on the keys and it’d still sound beautiful. I got to practice on it for a couple hours while they picked up some groceries and it’s the first time in what feels like ages that I’ve actually been in touch with my music.

And I got to ring in the New Year surrounded by friends.

So, what will happen in 2018?

I’m actually kind of excited. I’m twenty-three, rebuilding my family relationships, taking classes with my two favourite professors, have five going on six nieces and nephews, a cat to cuddle, a 3.35 GPA, jeans, a bathingsuit and a sports bra in my new size, new notebooks and pens, and antidepressants, so world, here I come.

I love notebooks. I hardly ever use them but, ugh, the aesthetic.

I feel like it was appropriate to have this accompany the picture of my new notebooks.

For the blog, I want to finish the “Break-Up Survival Guide” because, frankly, I want to be done thinking about the whole thing. After that, I’d like to actually post some fashion stuff, particularly information on bra-fitting, and might post some book reviews and also some recipes. And of course, I’ll still be talking about mental health, self-care, school, and life in general.

 

Outside the blog, I want to bring my GPA up to a 3.5, get my full driver’s license, buy a new car, renew my car insurance, pay down my credit card, get all my medical appointments up-to-date, find a new doctor (my old one retired), hang some pictures on my wall, get back into kickboxing again, read lots of books, cook more, and spend more time with family and friends. A friend of mine also wants to jam, so maybe I’ll actually work on some music too.

Basically, what I have planned for this year is just to Make Things Happen.

So, here’s to a promising year. Hello, 2018!